Obligations

I despise obligations. Things shouldn't be done because you feel guilty not doing it, or you feel a duty to doing it. Things should be done because you want to do it. It should be from the heart, not from the head. I ask people to do things for me, but I never want them to feel obliged to do it. I ask only if they want to do it, otherwise I would rather they didn't if they feel an obligation to it.

Some events people feel obligations to attend: company parties, bridal/baby showers, funerals, family dinners. You shouldn't go to these things unless you want to. If you go because you feel obligated, then you are just setting up to make the situation awkward and uncomfortable.

Another obligation people feel: birthday and holiday gifts. Get what you want to get them not what you think is right and not something of equal value to what they gave you. If you give more than you wanted to give, then you feel resentment for the person. If you give less than you wanted to give, then you feel guilty for disappointing yourself and them. Either one adds to the awkwardness and discomfort to the situation.

So do things because you want to, it gives the biggest return on investment.